August 22, 2012

For the Better

If you have been keeping up with me, you know that I quit my job in early June this year.  Now that I'm 2 1/2 months in to my new journey, I can, with 100% certainty, say I am happier for it.  Are all my problems solved?  No.  Are all of my anxieties gone?  No.  I don't think I'll ever be completely free of those things (who is??).  This was not an easy process, and I'm not done yet.  I still have a few mountains to climb.

One thing I did gain (so far) was some self respect.  I stood up for myself.  I had no idea it would feel this good!  I'm proud of myself for the first time in many years.  Makes me wonder why I have such a hard time telling people how I feel.  Do I make how they feel seem more important than me?  

Another thing I've noticed is a change in how I see things.  I have the time to really SEE things:  the blue of the sky, birds flying, the green of the grass....  Everything looks like it did to me when I was very young...more vivid, more real somehow.  

This is probably the best summer of my entire life.  I hate to think it will end going back to school, leaves starting to's inevitable.  Maybe I will SEE things this winter that I haven't in many years and learn to love it too.

August 13, 2012